Wednesday, May 12, 2010

life is not simple, i am not awesome, things are sometimes not black and white

Alright. Major venting session coming, get ready.

There are a few things that I feel compelled to share with the world this evening.

1) without being completely self-deprecating, i would like to inform anyone who might be interested that i am far from having anything together. i am not very spiritual, not very in-tune with God, and i don't have many answers for anything...even those things I have direct experience in.

2) life is not simple and the rules aren't always crystal clear, at least to me. From my perspective at least, the world isn't always easily explainable. God isn't always obviously present, and sometimes I don't even know if He's there at all. I am working to refrain from attempting to "know" anything but for the fact that God is holy, I am not, and my calling is to attempt to love and worship Him with my life.

3) it may be true that all things will work together for the good, and I believe this. however, not every day is lollipops and roses. even when I may appear to have it all together and be perfectly happy, this may not be the case. i love my job, but I do NOT always love my job. sometimes i get really frustrated with the way that life seems so futile, so heartbreaking, so hopeless. and i resent easy answers.

4) sometimes i am not a huge fan of rehashing things 10 million times, even if they are true. i understand that what you are saying is true, but at the moment it's not what i want to hear. so please stop reciting your easy answers to my life difficulties and simply offer a listening ear. if you want to understand me, understand this: sometimes i need to vent my frustrations, knowing full well that in spite of my frustration God is in control and He is good.

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