Sunday, October 27, 2013

My Study of Revelation Part 2

On to the second half of Revelation 1.  This is all pretty dry, so if you're looking for a typical angsty-Marilee blog post, feel free to not read this. Haha.  In any case, if you'd like to see what sources I'm using or more background on why I'm doing this study, see this link.  This all feels very "amateur hour" to me.  I have no idea what I'm doing.  If you have any insights into this passage, let me know in the comment section!

Revelation 1:9-20

Just as the first eight verses were saturated with Jesus, so too is the second half of the chapter.  Just giving this passage a cursory glance reveals Jesus as powerful and beautiful - as worthy of our awe and worship.  Although he appears in human form, he is very clearly worthy of our worship.  This passage is also interesting because of the many references to the Old Testament (mostly Daniel, but also a few other things here and there).  Where God is described in one way in the Old Testament, Jesus is in the New Testament.  Jesus is proclaimed over and over to be the Messiah, to be the Risen King, and to be God.  Furthermore, as N.T. Wright points out, this Jesus is not cuddly or represented as your "personal savior."  He's pretty scary here.  Smith points out that Jesus appears in human form to John and yet is obviously God.

Principle of suffering for Christians (vs. 9)
What of the Rapture?  I come into this study highly skeptical of the Rapture.  To me (and this is a very humble, uneducated opinion) it seems escapist and not consistent with the general theme of suffering found in Scripture.  I am of course open to changing my mind.  The principle of suffering comes up, though, in verse 9: "I, John, your brother and companion in the suffering and kingdom and patient endurance that are ours in Jesus, was on the island of Patmos because of the word of God and the testimony of Jesus."  Other verses on suffering: John 16:33 - “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” 2 Timothy 2:12 - "if we endure,  we will also reign with him. If we disown him, he will also disown us."  Revelation 3:10 does throw somewhat of a wrench in my "don't like the Rapture" opinion: "Since you have kept my command to endure patiently, I will also keep you from the hour of trial that is going to come on the whole world to test the inhabitants of the earth."  Of course, this verse is talking specifically to this one church.  Obviously, in retrospect, they did not live through the tribulation.  I will keep this in mind, though, and study it more thoroughly when I make it to chapter 3.  In terms of the tribulation, the kingdom of God, and suffering, I really like Colossians 1:13: "For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves."  This verse seems to set up the principle of the kingdom of God being both here and also not yet, something that is also prevalent throughout the Gospels.

Apocalyptic literature
I did a little research into apocalyptic literature in general this week.  It turns out that many biblical scholars believe the second half of the book of Daniel to have been written in sometime around mid-second century BC.  The second half of Revelation 1 bears many similarities to prophecies found in Daniel, which would make sense since John was writing in a style very prevalent in the centuries previous to the life of Christ.  Much apocalyptic literature was written from 200 BC to 200 AD, and most of it never made it into the Bible.  Apocalyptic literature in general serves to reveal the coming judgment of God upon the world.

Side note on the above discussion: One of the things that I have really come to appreciate in recent years is coming to the Bible with an open, teachable mind.  Part of that, for me, includes accepting that the writers of the Bible didn't think about objectivity and history and truth in the same ways that we modern Western Christians do today.  And so although I was always taught to believe that Daniel wrote the entire book of Daniel in the 6th century BC, I love that there's the possibility that we're wrong, if only because other theories about dates and authorship may shed new light on the entire genre.  One of the things I refuse to be is threatened by science or historical study.  Whether it's the Creation account in Genesis or the authorship of the Pauline epistles or the date of apocalyptic literature, I don't much care about the "who" or "when" as much as I do about the "why" and "what does this tell me about God?"  I believe the Bible to be inspired.  I always will.  As far as the specifics of how that works out, well, that's up for discussion as far as I'm concerned.

"In the Spirit"
In verse 10, John  uses the phrase "In the Spirit" to refer to the context for the vision he then saw.  This is how each of his main visions throughout the book are preceded.  Usually in the New Testament (Acts specifically), this phrase refers to a trance.  See Acts 10:10, 11:5, 22:17.

Symbolism in John's Description of Jesus (vss. 12-16)
In verses 12-16 John gives a pretty detailed description of the vision he sees.

  • "seven golden lampstands" - refer to the seven churches that he later specifically addresses.  In Exodus 25:37, the tabernacle is to have one lampstand with seven lamps giving light in front of it (think menorah).  To me, this seems to be a step up from that.  If the number seven is the number of perfection, this is perfecting perfection.
  • "like a son of man" - son of man simply means human.
  • "feet of bronze" - Immediately I thought of the statue in Daniel 2 - in that statue the feet were clay.  These are bronze.  Also, the vision in Daniel 10 talks about feet of bronze (vs. 6).
  • "sound of rushing waters" - Ezekiel 43:2
  • Revelation 1:14 is from Daniel 7:9.
  • Much of this symbolism is taken straight out of the Old Testament and often right out of Daniel.  It's fascinating how messianic prophecies from the OT become evidence for Jesus as messiah.  
Next up: Revelation 2:1-7.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

The Holiest of Coffees

My world is fragile.

Tonight I sat under a bright orange Dunkin Donuts umbrella watching a night sky that threatened rain with every pulse of lightning and gust of wind, my "All Sons and Daughters" Pandora station playing loudly in my ear, trying desperately not to cry.  I have these moments fairly commonly; I'm rarely strong.

Maybe it began a few minutes earlier in the parking lot of my church where I was informed that church was cancelled for a youth event; I could go there if I wanted instead.  I smiled and nodded, feigning interest, trying not to betray the fact that I'm not strong enough to do unexpected things on the fly, that when things don't go as I planned them in my head I automatically shut down emotionally.  I'm sure the youth event was inspired, I'm sure it was amazing.  But I'm just as sure I might have collapsed entirely.

Jesus came with me to Dunkin.  The Spirit sang over me as I sipped coffee and breathed in second hand smoke.

My world is fragile.  

My world is different than it was a few short months ago.  I love this man, and it means that the things I've always struggled with are present now in crazy proportions.  I've always depended on people, now I depend on one person more than I ever have.  It's both wonderful and terrible.  I have to learn that sometimes he's there and sometimes he's not, and that somehow, I have to be okay without him.

I want to hide behind words, behind poetry.  I don't want to be real, to admit that sometimes relationships hurt.  Even if they hurt because of how wonderful they are.

I don't have to be strong, I just have to lean on Jesus.

My world is fragile.

Every week going to church is a struggle for me.  I would like to think it's not because I'm a wayward sinner, although I know it's because I'm a sinner.  Every week it's hard for me to lay aside my pride and remain teachable.  It's a struggle for me to remember that I don't have all the answers.  It's almost impossible to set aside anger, to love people whose views are so far removed from mine.

I want to say that it's worth it.

Sometimes it is.

But sometimes I just almost lose my sanity and sometimes I get so angry and sometimes it just hurts. 

But then Jesus shows up.  I see him in my brothers and sisters whose views are so antithetical to my own.

My world is fragile.

I don't love my coworkers like I should.  I don't stay out of the drama like I should.  I don't work as hard as I should.  I don't reflect Jesus like I should.  I'm too busy with work; I'm not involved enough at work.  I remain emotionally aloof when God calls me to be present.

My world is fragile.

Every day it threatens to fall apart.

And yet...He is strong.

It is enough.

Friday, October 18, 2013

My Study of Revelation part 1

Today I took a mini road trip (okay, so it was a half hour drive) to Florida and sat in a Starbucks and figured out where I want to go next with my personal Bible study.  It's been too long since I've done anything in depth on my own.  And so I quite randomly decided to go with the book of Revelation.

I'm a bit angsty when it comes to Revelation, and have been for many years.  I don't believe in the Rapture but find myself surrounded by Christians who do, so that can tend to be a sore spot for me.  Being a history major, another sore spot for me with Revelation is when people entirely ignore the historical context of this book and it's potentially immediate applications to AD 70 and the fall of Jerusalem.  Of course, both of these sore spots are things I haven't really investigated for myself...I've just heard things and immediately decided without any real thought that they sound better than the Rapture or better than no historical context to the book.  Fail me.  So I come to my study of Revelation with a couple...shall we say biases...  I wish I didn't.

And so this study will be my best attempt at an open mind.  I want to know what the book actually teaches for myself.  I downloaded a couple commentaries onto my kindle today, and I'm going to be consulting study bibles as well as probably the internet here and there.  I hope to record my findings here, if only as accountability of sorts to actually follow through with the entire book.  So if you decide to follow along with me, this is going to be a bit of a cliff hanger every week because I, too, won't know what's coming next.  Bear with me.

Commentaries/books I will be using heavily:

Faithlife Study Bible
Revelation for Everyone by N.T. Wright
"The Revelation Explained An Exposition, Text by Text, of the Apocalypse of St. John" by F. G. Smith (really random, I know, but it was free on Kindle, so I went for it)
Life Application Study Bible (NIV)
Scofield Study Bible (NASB)
Zondervan's NIV Study Bible

Without further ado, for this post, Revelation 1:1-8.

To set the stage, a few things in the way of background occur to me.  John is imprisoned on the island of Patmos as he writes this book.  Christianity in general is facing persecution and uncertainty as they try to figure out what God's plan is for this new Jesus movement, as well as wondering when Jesus will return.  Into this uncertainty John writes the book of Revelation.  The book of Revelation could more accurately be called "Apocalypse," although perhaps not in the way that we think of apocalypse today.  It turns out that apocalypse in its pure form means "sudden unveiling of previously hidden truth."  The book of Revelation, according to N.T. Wright, is based on the ancient Jewish belief that God's sphere of being and operation and our sphere are not separated by a gulf.  Rather, with the Temple and later with Jesus, heaven and earth meet and overlap.  In looking at Jesus, we are able to see God.  This belief is certainly reflected in the first eight verses of the book; the focus of this passage is on making clear the character, attributes, and actions of the Trinity - although perhaps in most detail, Jesus.

According to N.T. Wright, the first eight verses of Revelation tell us five important things about what sort of book this is:

  1. a four stage revelation.  It is revealed from God to Jesus through an angel to John who reveals it to the churches.
  2. a letter.  It both contains letters to seven specific churches and is intended as a general letter to the Church as a whole.
  3. a prophesy (vs 3) -  John draws on the Old Testament prophetic tradition and also changes things up a bit.
  4. a witness (vs. 2) - the words "witness" and "testimony" are very similar in use and meaning.  There is both a sense that God is conducting a heavenly lawcourt where witness borne by Jesus and his followers is key as well as a sense that those who bear this "testimony" may be called to suffer and/or die. 
  5. Everything to come flows from Jesus and ultimately God the Father. (vs. 4, 8)
Random other findings to follow:

In his commentary, Smith points out the use of the number seven in vss. 4-8.  First of all, why seven churches specifically?  7 denotes fullness or completeness.  These seven churches are thus representative of the entire church, even as they are actual historic churches.  Second, what do the "seven spirits" refer to?  This is a reference to the Holy Spirit - the number seven refers to the fullness/excellence of the Holy Spirit.  Spirits rather than angels are used because angels are created beings.

There is a pretty amazing description of Jesus in verses 5-7.  I did a bit of my own research into each of the things Jesus is described as being in this passage.  
  1. Jesus is a faithful witness - a witness to God's faithfulness and goodness.  Other places where "faithful witness" shows up in the Bible:  Ps 89:37 "it [David's throne] will be established forever like the moon, the faithful witness in the sky."  Jeremiah 42:5 "Then they said to Jeremiah, 'May the Lord be a true and faithful witness against us if we do not act in accordance with everything the Lord your God sends you to tell us.'"
  2. Jesus is the firstborn of the dead. - It is important to keep in mind that firstborn does not necessarily always denote the literal firstborn.  (Jacob/Esau, for example)  It denotes, rather, preeminent status.  So don't be too concerned with the fact that Jesus was not the first person to rise from the dead.  He was, however, the first to rise with an imperishable body.  Other places this concept shows up: Colossians 1:18 - "And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy."  Ps 89:27 - "And i will appoint him to be my firstborn, the most exalted of the kings of the earth." Acts 26:23 - "that the Messiah would suffer and, as the first to rise from the dead, would bring the message of light to his own people and to the Gentiles." 1 Cor 15:20 - "But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep."
  3. Jesus is the ruler of Kings on earth.  Other places this concept shows up: Ps 89:27 - "And I will appoint him to be my firstborn, the most exalted of the kings of the earth." Dan 2:47 - "The king said to Daniel, 'Surely your God is the God of gods and the Lord of kings and a revealer of mysteries, for you were able to reveal this mystery.'"
  4. Jesus is Him who loves us.  Other places this concept shows up (among many): John 13:34 - "A new command I give you: Love one another.  As I have loved you, so must you love one another."  John 15:9 - "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love."
  5. Jesus is Him who has freed us from our sins by his blood.  More than anything, this seems to refer to the fact that there is no more need for Old Testament sacrifices.  This concept shows up in 1 Peter 1:18-19 - "For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect."   
  6. Jesus has made us a kingdom.  1 Peter 2:9 - "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light."  Revelation 5:10 - "You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God, and they will reign on the earth."
  7. Jesus has made us priests to his God and Father. 1 Peter 2:9 "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light."
  8. Jesus is coming with the clouds and every eye will see him...  This is perhaps the most interesting one to me, if simply because I learned a new way of looking at this phrase recently.  According to N.T. Wright, it is quite possible that the cloud imagery used in this passage as well as Matthew 24: 30 and Daniel 7:13 refers to an upward movement (Daniel 7:13 makes it very obvious - "In my vision at night I looked, and there before me was one like a son of man, coming with the clouds of heaven.  He approached the Ancient of Days and was led into his presence") rather than a downward movement.  In other words, it is from the perspective of heaven that we should understand it.  Jesus comes from earth to heaven, and every eye will see him.  This would then refer to his ascension and vindication.  1 Thessalonians 4:17, as I understand it, still refers to his second coming.    This phrase refers heavily to Zechariah 12:10 - "And I will pour out on the house of David and the inhabitants of Jerusalem a spirit of grace and supplication.  They will look on me, the one they have pierced, and they will mourn for him as one mourns for an only child, and grieve bitterly for him as one grieves for a firstborn son."
God is described in verse 8 as the Alpha and the Omega.  Alpha and Omega are the first and last letters of the Greek alphabet and the phrase thus refers to God as the beginning and the end and everything in between.  The phrase "who is and was and is to come" is a reference to Yahweh (I Am).  

Overall, what struck me about this passage is the focus on who God is.  It is clear that John wants the focus of the book to be on making God known.  There is a ton of theology packed into a tiny little section.

I would love if anyone wants to take this journey with me.  If you have other perspectives or insights on this passage, let me know in the comment section!  

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

My Incomplete and Humble Guide to Not Being a Racist

EDIT: I do continue to invite comments on this subject.  But, as it can be a very emotionally volatile issue, I do have to ask that everyone keeps this civil.  Personal attacks are not allowed.  I want this to be a safe place for people to discuss issues without being attacked.  In the future, I will be enforcing this on all of my blogs.  Comments that make negative statements about another person's character will be deleted.  Thank you.

In the weeks before moving to the heart of the American South, I remember wondering what it would be like to move to the South - if the South is really as racist as she is rumored to be.  I remember moving here and thinking in those initial weeks that maybe, just maybe, things weren't as bad as I had anticipated.  I don't know exactly whether my expectations were in reality on target, but what I do know is that I have encountered my fair share of racism in my year and a half living in Georgia.  It's not that I haven't seen racism before, it's that it's so much more consistent, abrasive, and prevalent here.

Here's the thing about racism.  I fully believe that almost no one is exempt.  Even the most with-it, progressive person holds onto stereotypes or preconceptions based on physical appearance.  We're human and it's tragically unavoidable.  I find myself confronting things I wrongly believe about people all the time.  I am not immune from what follows.  In addition, I am not an expert on racism.  I am part of a privileged group in America, and my experience and perceptions are mine alone.  I do not claim to have all of the answers or all of the right opinions on racism.  I haven't had to deal personally with the worst effects of it.

But I'm sick of supposedly well-meaning friends and acquaintances making racist remarks and getting away with it.  I'm sick of social situations in which everyone politely laughs when a racist comment is made.  I'm sick of it all.  So here is my incomplete and humble guide to not being a racist:

~~~

1) It is never okay to assume that a black person does or doesn't like things just because he or she is black.  It's probably dangerous territory to make statements that group all Asians or all blacks into a category based on their skin color.  Tread carefully.  You might be a white person who makes "white people" jokes, but it's different for you because you are privileged by your skin color while for others their skin color holds them back.  Yes, cultural differences are real.  Yes, we are not all the same.  Yes, sometimes skin color plays into that.  But the problem is that for some people, these "differences" are perceived by the dominant culture as negative.  As you live your life and as you say things, please keep this in mind.  It's so important.   "Asian" or "African American" or "Hispanic" are very broad terms.  Hispanics, for example, don't all think the same way or experience life the same way or even think about racism in the same way.  Culture is not bound by skin color.  It can be hurtful for you to assume, even if you're just joking, that it does.

2) If you find yourself prefacing a statement with "I know you're black [or Asian or Hispanic or whatever], so don't be offended at what I'm about to say..." you probably shouldn't make that statement.  In fact, PLEASE DON'T.

3) Never assume that racism is something we dealt with in the past.  Yes, slavery is over.  No, we are not altogether done with dealing with its aftermath.  The Civil Rights movement was much needed, but it wasn't all-encompassing, and it didn't erase racism.  Institutional and structural racism exists today - people are held back from achieving things simply because they are not white.  

4) If you think you're not a racist, or especially if you find yourself saying "I'm not a racist," you are very likely wrong.  Pretty much everyone struggles with racism in some form - the important part is recognizing it, becoming educated on it, and working toward a better future.

~~~

I invite discussion on any of the above.  I am certainly not immune to incorrect assumptions and opinions and want to grow in this area.  So let me know if you have a differing perspective.

Monday, October 14, 2013

these days

These days I don't do much evangelizing.
I don't quote much Scripture.
I don't invite many friends to church.
I don't like to bash the Muslims or the Mormons or the Pentecostals or the Catholics.
These days I'm pretty much an epic failure of a Christian.

These days I spend a lot of time staring at the lines in the tablecloth.
I listen to knowing and unknowing racism with shame.
I tap my foot uncomfortably, nervously, as lies and misinformation are propagated as absolute truth.
I find I don't fit much at all in this tapestry of faith and politics and culture called evangelical Christianity.
These days I would rather stay at home and thus preserve my sanity.

These days I'm confused.
I don't understand too much.
I don't have any of the Bible verses, just my conscience.
I don't like to speak.
These days I'm afraid to let them know just how much I doubt.

These days I find myself wanting only to love.
I want food for the hungry.
I want peace for the restless and broken.
I want God for the godless and the godly.
These days I don't want to fight.

These days I find myself loving Jesus.
I am hungry for Him, for His Word.
I read the Scriptures, looking to see God revealed.
I feel His presence in my life, refining my broken and sinful heart.
These days I'm stumbling after a broken figure bent under the weight of a brutal cross.

These days I'm alone.
I'm cynical.
I'm a doubter.
I believe in heresies.
These days I cringe to be considered a Christian.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

on love and falling and such

This, the time when the federal government shuts down and I find myself temporarily unemployed, is a season of rest and recuperation, a season of a slower pace, a season to reflect.  Today I found myself at the waterfront with my Bible and my journal and The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer and some music playing in my iPod.  I couldn't help but breathe deeply of the beautiful fall air, reminded that even in this season of uncertainty, God is all around.  He's holding me, and He's got this all under control.

I reflected, too, on the last few months.  Crazy months they have been, as I have learned to love another.  I've been largely silent on this, and it's been a season of so much uncertainty as I learn to trust God and love another.  And it's been a season of joy, too, so much joy.  Because, you see, there's this boy.  And he's kinda stolen my heart.

It has been a season of journal entries kept hidden for such a time as this:

***

July 4, 2013
It is fitting that I am alone on this, the fourth night of July, 2013.  So much of my life has been lived alone.  I remember so clearly that night freshman year of college when life came crashing in and I wrote of the fundamental loneliness of life.  That has been proved true countless times in the years that have passed since then.  I have no doubt that life will continue in this vein.  We try so hard to mask the loneliness, we seek so many things to distract us from our individuality and the enforced independence that results.  
There is, in the final analysis, no escape.  I am coming to believe that part of life's challenge is to come to terms with this loneliness.  There will never be a cure, never be a moment when we overcome the individual nature of life.
It is this reality that drives us to love.  To live our lives for another, for the individuals that surround us.  To struggle for community even when to achieve unadulterated community is impossible.

July 16, 2013
The music swirls softly about me as I ponder the words on my heart, the words that aren't quite making it through the pen onto this paper.  These words yet unspoken captivate my heart, pushing at its borders, wanting release.  Will they have their way?
Emotion overwhelms my heart, and there is no release for it.  There are no words.
~~~
The night was beautiful.  A slight breeze chased away the Georgian summer's unrelenting humidity and bugs, and wisps of clouds flitted across the sky, obscuring and revealing the stars in turn.  This was my wilderness place not so many months ago.  I sat here alone with God, watching a magnificent sunset, feeling the presence of God and receiving the peace my heart so desperately needed.
And now I was back in this place so full of God, the fabric of the universe stretched taut, bursting at the seams with the unrelenting love of a God who will yet restore His broken creation.  I had never truly walked this life alone, but tonight another sat at my side.  My heart filled with an indescribable emotion.  This was happiness, walking no longer alone.
~~~
The words won't quite come yet.  It is yet too early.  Premature words are no words at all.  And so the season of silence stretches on, taking me with it.

***

They talk about love like it's falling.  I always thought that it was more like jumping.  Surrendering control, letting myself put my confidence in another.  It turns out that love is cyclical, multifaceted, impossible to pin down.  Love begins as a wavering candle, grows in certainty until it overtakes me.  Love is a sacrifice of oneself and an indescribable gift from God.

***

In the end, this is my prayer:

1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

So much is written about love, so much of our culture is obsessed with it.  May my love always look to Jesus as an example.  May I be intentional in my love.  May my love never end.