2012 in Review

January:

As 2012 opened, I was hard at work on my thesis.  I was in the throes of a weight loss challenge with my youngest sister in preparation for a family vacation to Hawaii.  I went to Hawaii.  My future goals included studying abroad in Germany for the summer.  I began attending a new small group in Bellingham with a church I didn't attend.  For the first time in B-ham, I had unmarried Christian friends my age.  Probably should have worked on that earlier, although I learned so much from the friends I did have, and I love them dearly still.

Febraury:

I was a fool.  I made some major mistakes with one particular friendship, letting it become more than it should have become.  I thought about racism.  I applied to my first park service job and felt for the first time the pull to leave the city I called home.  Sister Kayla got engaged!

March:

I applied to park service job after park service job, and gave up that I'd ever get one.  I collected monopoly tickets from the local grocery store and prayed for a 25k windfall.  I planned to work at Walmart or Starbucks, depending on who'd hire me.

April:

More failures on the job front.  I got an interview for a summer job in Bellingham.  Failed to get the job even though I nearly had a masters in history and was ridiculously over-qualified and they were hiring 8 people.  Figured if I couldn't get that job it was game over for any job besides Walmart or Starbucks.  I got an interview from a job in St Marys, GA.  Googled it.  I took a school trip to Spokane.  I realized last minute that I had like two weeks before it would be too late to defend my thesis.  Hurriedly scheduled a defense date.  My advisor found out he had cancer.

May:

I was offered a job in Georgia.  I decided to move.  The emotion of it all was so intense - I was in the park service, but I was leaving the town I loved.  I was terrified.  I was at peace.  I was everything.  I reflected on the past couple years.  And I started selling off my furniture and other belongings.  Everything was getting in that car, like it or not.  I reflected on gender and stuff.  Defended thesis for a mediocre grade.

June:

Oh, June.  The month that changed my world.  I left the fairest city of them all the day of my graduation.  My car broke down an hour out of town.  I still made it home in two days.  My sister got married.  I made the move to Georgia without having a clue where I would live.  I met some people who very insanely quickly became family.  And I realized that however much I loved my new life in Georgia, I had left my heart in Bellingham.

July:

I started reading and reviewing books.  I visited churches and hated them all.  I struggled to define myself surrounded by people that didn't understand the "West Coast Me."  I decided that I should be more conservative.  Definitely less liberal.  And some other stuff happened, but I won't talk about that here......

August:

Some other stuff continued happening............   I continued missing Bellingham way too much.  My parents and youngest sister visited.  One of my best friends visited me.  As we walked on the beach in Fernandina, I was for the first time okay with being here.  I read "Inspiration and Incarnation" by Peter Enns, and it changed my life.  I read part of "Cost of Discipleship" by Dietrich Bonhoeffer and it changed my life even more.  Or at least began to change my life.

September:

I visited the beach again, this time with my friends from here.  I had a moment.  I got an accountability partner.  I once again began attending church.

October:

My aunt visited at a point in my life here where I most needed the distraction due to some other stuff happening......  We had a great time.  I did a lot of thinking this month about my faith.  God was changing my heart.

November:

I celebrated my first Thanksgiving without relatives.  I worked.  It turned out not so bad: a tourist gave me chocolate.  Obama was re-elected.  I didn't vote.  I realized I was glad I didn't vote.

December:
That other stuff happening..........began to shift........  I revealed to the world that I am a feminist.  I had a moment of panic.  Then I realized how glad I was to just be out with it.  I applied to some jobs in Alaska.  Got referred to a couple.  I celebrated my first Christmas outside of SD, a very bittersweet experience.  I turned twenty five.

It's been a year of intense changes, a year of intense emotion, a year of growth and clarity.  I still miss Bellingham with every fiber of my being (a mark, I think, of a place that I will always consider home), but I see so clearly the working of God in bringing me here, and I wouldn't change it for the world.

In 2013, I hope to get a permanent job, get a boyfriend, get engaged, and get married.  Maybe even have a baby on the way.

Just kidding.

Sort of.

I'll let you sort out the kidding and sort of.