Well, I applied for a hostess position at that restaurant, although I'm pretty sure I was inadvertently an hour and a half late (I got 12 pm confused with 12 am). I also sent in my app to the state park. That's the job I actually want. I doubt I'll get it, but who knows, I guess.
What else is on the agenda, you may ask? Well, I'm planning to bring my resume to Denny's tomorrow. I'm also looking into working retail (at the mall), but, I'm not gonna lie, the idea of working in a clothing store repulses me. I was thinking about the stuff I'd have to do (fold clothes, hang them up, etc, etc, etc) and I died a little inside...I hate shopping, and can't imagine spending day after day in a store. So I'm hoping that the food service industry will work out. If Denny's is a no-go, there are quite a few restaurants and a grocery store close by my apt, so I would be able to walk/bike to work, woot woot.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Job Hunting Day #1-3
Just so I can assuage my guilty conscience a little over accomplishing little or nothing over spring break, I thought I'd blog on the one thing I have been attempting to accomplish: finding a summer job. Today was the first official day that I devoted to the search, unless you count yesterday, or a random day a few weeks ago. So really it's the third day.
A few weeks ago I sent my resume to a student painting company. Kinda sketchy, no response thus far.
Yesterday I sent my resume to another student painting company. So if I don't get a painting job, it's not for lack of applying. I also came across an advertisement for being a host at a local restaurant. I have to go to the restaurant tomorrow and introduce myself. I'm terrified. Haha.
Today I worked on filling out an application for a local state park. That was a marathon and a half - they don't ask for a resume, but they do ask for my four most recent jobs as well as a detailed description of my duties at each. So I hand-wrote my resume, pretty much.
On the list for tomorrow: continue watching craigslist for any new postings, show up at that restaurant and try to act super extroverted, and send in my state park application.
I've pretty much decided to take the internet/craigslist/keeping a general ear to the ground route until May, and if I haven't found anything by then, I'll go from door to door picking up applications (there's a McDonalds down the street, haha).
I'm so excited for that day not so far in the future when I don't have to apply for stupid summer jobs anymore - when I can just have a job as a professor and call it good. I'm getting sick of this whole work-my-tail-off-for-$8/hr thing.
A few weeks ago I sent my resume to a student painting company. Kinda sketchy, no response thus far.
Yesterday I sent my resume to another student painting company. So if I don't get a painting job, it's not for lack of applying. I also came across an advertisement for being a host at a local restaurant. I have to go to the restaurant tomorrow and introduce myself. I'm terrified. Haha.
Today I worked on filling out an application for a local state park. That was a marathon and a half - they don't ask for a resume, but they do ask for my four most recent jobs as well as a detailed description of my duties at each. So I hand-wrote my resume, pretty much.
On the list for tomorrow: continue watching craigslist for any new postings, show up at that restaurant and try to act super extroverted, and send in my state park application.
I've pretty much decided to take the internet/craigslist/keeping a general ear to the ground route until May, and if I haven't found anything by then, I'll go from door to door picking up applications (there's a McDonalds down the street, haha).
I'm so excited for that day not so far in the future when I don't have to apply for stupid summer jobs anymore - when I can just have a job as a professor and call it good. I'm getting sick of this whole work-my-tail-off-for-$8/hr thing.
perceptions
I have been thinking lately about perceptions. I find myself often preoccupied with wondering how people view me. It is so important to me to be liked and accepted, and I often wonder how different the way I view myself is from the way that others view me. This seems to be a relatively common preoccupation, and in many ways it's a shame. It's especially when this focus on one's self becomes so overpowering that anything others say is misconstrued to be some sort of insult.
Often, I'll go through my days with a nearly overwhelming sense of inadequacy. I will look back on conversations I had and regret the way I portrayed myself or my faith. I feel bad for gossiping (and often am not sure when a harmless conversation crosses the line into gossip) or feel as if I should have said more or less, depending on the situation.
One time, at the end of a conversation that I had felt iffy about the entire time, I was paid a huge compliment. My mind was pretty much blown. I mean, I felt as if I had messed up, that I shouldn't have shared as much of myself, that I had looked like a jerk and a fool. And yet, this friend didn't seem to view the conversation in that light at all... it was so hard to process that. Why did she feel so differently? Was my sense of guilt legitimate? Was her view of me a result of me portraying myself in an dishonest or boastful way?
Life is all about perceptions. In that way, it's all hazy and undefined. Everything is a matter of perspective and perception. From what angle do I view myself and the world, and how does that angle prevent me from seeing the bigger, fuller picture? At the end of the day, I need to let go of any need to be perceived in a certain way, because it's all transitory and shadowy anyway.
Often, I'll go through my days with a nearly overwhelming sense of inadequacy. I will look back on conversations I had and regret the way I portrayed myself or my faith. I feel bad for gossiping (and often am not sure when a harmless conversation crosses the line into gossip) or feel as if I should have said more or less, depending on the situation.
One time, at the end of a conversation that I had felt iffy about the entire time, I was paid a huge compliment. My mind was pretty much blown. I mean, I felt as if I had messed up, that I shouldn't have shared as much of myself, that I had looked like a jerk and a fool. And yet, this friend didn't seem to view the conversation in that light at all... it was so hard to process that. Why did she feel so differently? Was my sense of guilt legitimate? Was her view of me a result of me portraying myself in an dishonest or boastful way?
Life is all about perceptions. In that way, it's all hazy and undefined. Everything is a matter of perspective and perception. From what angle do I view myself and the world, and how does that angle prevent me from seeing the bigger, fuller picture? At the end of the day, I need to let go of any need to be perceived in a certain way, because it's all transitory and shadowy anyway.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
up with the birds
This morning I was up with the birds... only thing is, I hadn't gone to bed. I stayed up until 5:30 this morning watching a reality TV show...and since I don't have internet at my apartment, this all occurred on campus. I walked home and the birds were chirping. It was a lot of fun. I love staying up all night - there's something about the quiet and the knowledge that I won't see anyone or have to talk to anyone - that I can just be, that soothes my introverted nerves.
As I walked home, I was surprised by the number of people walking around campus. Some looked entirely out of it, others were quite obviously intoxicated, and others...were just there. And I walked by a couple raccoons playing in the road. It was great.
I love the simple things in life. Buying a $5 pizza from Little Caesars, bringing it to campus, eating 2/3 of it, and saving the rest in an unused garbage bag for lack of another container. Grading essays through the night if only to go to bed not feeling like a slacker.
These are the things I love. The little strange things that make each day different from the day before. The simple joy of texting a friend at 5 am, (7 am her time) knowing that she's waking up to start her day and I'm just heading home to go to bed. The joy of eating a large pizza in an office on the third floor of an academic building, just because I can. Following a drunk person home and wondering why on earth they're out at 5 am, and then realizing that I'm out at 5 am.
Raccoons don't hurt, either. Or the wind on my face, the wind that is significantly warmer than the wind of a month ago.
Spring's coming.
In other news, I got my potential lease agreement on my door this morning. Rent goes up $11 a month if I stay. Time to leave.
As I walked home, I was surprised by the number of people walking around campus. Some looked entirely out of it, others were quite obviously intoxicated, and others...were just there. And I walked by a couple raccoons playing in the road. It was great.
I love the simple things in life. Buying a $5 pizza from Little Caesars, bringing it to campus, eating 2/3 of it, and saving the rest in an unused garbage bag for lack of another container. Grading essays through the night if only to go to bed not feeling like a slacker.
These are the things I love. The little strange things that make each day different from the day before. The simple joy of texting a friend at 5 am, (7 am her time) knowing that she's waking up to start her day and I'm just heading home to go to bed. The joy of eating a large pizza in an office on the third floor of an academic building, just because I can. Following a drunk person home and wondering why on earth they're out at 5 am, and then realizing that I'm out at 5 am.
Raccoons don't hurt, either. Or the wind on my face, the wind that is significantly warmer than the wind of a month ago.
Spring's coming.
In other news, I got my potential lease agreement on my door this morning. Rent goes up $11 a month if I stay. Time to leave.
Monday, March 14, 2011
little me
Life is so often lived backwards. I make mistakes and must deal and live with the regret - if only I would have done that differently, said that thing, not said that other thing, been more assertive, more humble, etc., etc., etc. I'm so thankful that my life isn't about me and my mistakes.
It's so hard to know how to be. It's hard to know what to do, what not to do. It's a constant, often losing battle to honor God. The world would have me think that my life is about me, that sin is just a figment of my imagination, that guilt is unnecessary as long as I make myself happy. It's hard to combat that lie sometimes, because it comes at me from so many directions. It's insidious - sometimes I realize that I am living as if sin and guilt didn't exist.
I'm just little me. My impact is non-existent, and all my best efforts to reach out get me no where. The temptation is to think I'm something, to think that I can achieve big things, that I can change hearts, and that I can make a big impact. And I constantly have to remember that I am nothing. Humility is so crucial, and yet so hard to exercise. I want so badly to live a life that aims only to offer everything as an act of worship to God, because in the end that's all that matters. He'll take little me and use me for something big, but never because of me.
It's so hard to know how to be. It's hard to know what to do, what not to do. It's a constant, often losing battle to honor God. The world would have me think that my life is about me, that sin is just a figment of my imagination, that guilt is unnecessary as long as I make myself happy. It's hard to combat that lie sometimes, because it comes at me from so many directions. It's insidious - sometimes I realize that I am living as if sin and guilt didn't exist.
I'm just little me. My impact is non-existent, and all my best efforts to reach out get me no where. The temptation is to think I'm something, to think that I can achieve big things, that I can change hearts, and that I can make a big impact. And I constantly have to remember that I am nothing. Humility is so crucial, and yet so hard to exercise. I want so badly to live a life that aims only to offer everything as an act of worship to God, because in the end that's all that matters. He'll take little me and use me for something big, but never because of me.
Monday, March 7, 2011
collision
Tonight my worlds collided. My new world collided with my old world, in the form of the NW Symphonic Band tour to WA.
I have been waiting for tonight for six months. And I knew that the fact that I have put so much emotion into awaiting it would make it rather anti-climatic. And anti-climatic it was. I saw a friend who is still in the band which was what made it worth it. And the music was, of course, awesome. I talked to a handful of people that I used to know, talked to the band director and his wife. I smiled a lot, I was moved by the music.
And I left feeling so incredibly torn. For a short hour I was transported back into an old world. A world I used to be so very much a part of. My life is entirely different now on almost every level, and it is so good. But that old life was also good.
I wouldn't call it homesick. It's more sickness for a past that I will never get back. Tonight I was given a visual reminder of the world I left behind when I graduated from college in December of 2009. Most of the people were still the same, the band functioned in the same way, did the same things. And yet, I was on the outside looking in. The freshmen didn't know me. I no longer belong in that world...that world that used to mean so much to me is gone forever. It's not like being homesick - I can always go home and visit and it'll still be there. But college, in the form I knew it, will never ever be there again. If I went back to visit this spring, 90% of the people that were important to me during my time at NW would be gone. If I went back a year from now, that number would increase to pretty much 100%, with the exception of a very few people.
I don't usually mourn college for that very reason. I don't wish I could visit because if I did visit, it wouldn't be the college I knew and loved. The people would be very painfully absent. But tonight the band came to my new home, and that band was almost the same as it was when I was last a member. That made it all the harder. Not because I'm super close friends with any of them, but because they are the same. And, even so, I don't belong. Maybe I never did. But I at least belonged to the music. The music became a part of my soul...the music is still tied to me...when I hear the songs we played, my heart is transported back to those days when I was a member of the NW Symphonic Band - those days when we toured Mexico, those days when we all got food poisoning in a little Dutch town in California. And intricately connected to those memories is the music that we carried with us, the music that will never leave us. The music that we poured months into preparing - the music that carried us beyond the mundane and beyond the present, to a realm that will always survive in the memories we carry with us.
Tonight I remember and I mourn. With that mourning is happiness, though, because I am mourning something inexpressibly beautiful.
I have been waiting for tonight for six months. And I knew that the fact that I have put so much emotion into awaiting it would make it rather anti-climatic. And anti-climatic it was. I saw a friend who is still in the band which was what made it worth it. And the music was, of course, awesome. I talked to a handful of people that I used to know, talked to the band director and his wife. I smiled a lot, I was moved by the music.
And I left feeling so incredibly torn. For a short hour I was transported back into an old world. A world I used to be so very much a part of. My life is entirely different now on almost every level, and it is so good. But that old life was also good.
I wouldn't call it homesick. It's more sickness for a past that I will never get back. Tonight I was given a visual reminder of the world I left behind when I graduated from college in December of 2009. Most of the people were still the same, the band functioned in the same way, did the same things. And yet, I was on the outside looking in. The freshmen didn't know me. I no longer belong in that world...that world that used to mean so much to me is gone forever. It's not like being homesick - I can always go home and visit and it'll still be there. But college, in the form I knew it, will never ever be there again. If I went back to visit this spring, 90% of the people that were important to me during my time at NW would be gone. If I went back a year from now, that number would increase to pretty much 100%, with the exception of a very few people.
I don't usually mourn college for that very reason. I don't wish I could visit because if I did visit, it wouldn't be the college I knew and loved. The people would be very painfully absent. But tonight the band came to my new home, and that band was almost the same as it was when I was last a member. That made it all the harder. Not because I'm super close friends with any of them, but because they are the same. And, even so, I don't belong. Maybe I never did. But I at least belonged to the music. The music became a part of my soul...the music is still tied to me...when I hear the songs we played, my heart is transported back to those days when I was a member of the NW Symphonic Band - those days when we toured Mexico, those days when we all got food poisoning in a little Dutch town in California. And intricately connected to those memories is the music that we carried with us, the music that will never leave us. The music that we poured months into preparing - the music that carried us beyond the mundane and beyond the present, to a realm that will always survive in the memories we carry with us.
Tonight I remember and I mourn. With that mourning is happiness, though, because I am mourning something inexpressibly beautiful.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
post 201
Tonight I have exciting plans. I'm going to ambush a concert of prayer that a random church in town is holding tonight. I'm excited. It should be fun. Maybe awkward. But hopefully good. That's all.
Friday, March 4, 2011
phasing out
I'm finding it difficult to be able to be honest here; for a wide variety of reasons, circumstances require me to move my pondering elsewhere. I apologize. On the other hand, the name of this blog implies the mundane, and the mundane I can share. So, here we go.
School is going well. I love it. I love the things I read, I love writing papers, I love my ridiculous sticky-note/underlining/writing in the margins of books system. It's a lot of fun.
Spring break is almost here. Everyone has been asking me if I've started looking for a job for summer yet. My answer? No. I will be doing so over spring break, though...no fear.
I'm trying to decide where I want to live next year...if I want to keep my apartment or look elsewhere. I'm actually tempted to keep my apartment, but I also feel like that may be slightly irresponsible. In many ways, it wouldn't be irresponsible, though. I have to decide whether to renew my lease by March 31, which annoys the crap out of me...that's like five months before my first lease even ends...
School is going well. I love it. I love the things I read, I love writing papers, I love my ridiculous sticky-note/underlining/writing in the margins of books system. It's a lot of fun.
Spring break is almost here. Everyone has been asking me if I've started looking for a job for summer yet. My answer? No. I will be doing so over spring break, though...no fear.
I'm trying to decide where I want to live next year...if I want to keep my apartment or look elsewhere. I'm actually tempted to keep my apartment, but I also feel like that may be slightly irresponsible. In many ways, it wouldn't be irresponsible, though. I have to decide whether to renew my lease by March 31, which annoys the crap out of me...that's like five months before my first lease even ends...
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