Saturday, February 1, 2014

for the manipulator in me

The tendency toward control is always wrong.  I have always feared and avoided manipulative people, but in the end, I am the most manipulative of them all.

When I am tempted to exert my feeble control over situations in my life, may I always trust Jesus enough to give Him control - to trust that no matter how the people in my life may fail me, He never will.  In the moments when I most want to hold my life circumstances with a clenched fist - these are the moments I need most to open my hand and die to my desires in order that God may be glorified.

When people run away from me, I tend to fight to bring them back to me.  May I learn to love them always, and that sometimes loving them means letting them run to the arms of Jesus.

When people betray me, may I turn the other cheek.  May I allow myself to be humiliated and not lash out.  May I learn submission and meekness.  May I look always to Jesus for my sense of self worth.

Everything in me fights against this principle.  The human in me wants people to do things that make me happy.  The human in me wants always to be wanted, always to be valued.   The human in me insists that life revolves around me.

And God insists quite the opposite.  Life revolves constantly around my neighbor.

God forgive me.

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