Tonight, quite frankly, I'm struggling. Tonight my insecurities and fears and doubts are dragging me under and it's a bitter struggle to put a smile on my face. Tonight I have no answers and life seems dark and lonely.
I sat through small group tonight drowning in an ocean of sadness. On the drive home, a dear friend did her very best to speak hope into my heart, and in many ways it was to no avail. The darkness weighs on my heart; my stomach is tied in knots and joy is absent. Tonight I know only distance and doubt, fear and anger, loneliness and desperation.
A few days ago I posted a sermon on my Facebook timeline, describing it as "Gospel." I had someone ask me tonight what I meant by that. That question started me thinking; what does "Gospel" mean to me?
If you'd asked me five years ago, or even a year ago what "the Gospel" means, I would have told you that it means that Jesus came to die for our sins and offer us a life with Him. I still believe that. But I'm coming to the realization that the Gospel is so much more than a story we tell about something Jesus did on a cross 2000 years ago. The Gospel's implications are so much wider reaching than that, so much more powerful.
And so tonight, in the midst of despair, I cling to the Gospel, the Good News.
Gospel is relentless belief in Good regardless of the darkness that invades my heart on a daily basis.
Gospel is hope for a future with the Creator of the Universe in spite of my brokenness.
Gospel is the audacious claim to holiness when none is intrinsic.
Gospel is an invitation to dream.
Gospel is restoration.
Gospel is sacrifice, giving one's whole life in pursuit of a seemingly ridiculous ideal: the Kingdom of God come to earth.
Gospel is the Holy Spirit breathing life into my dying lungs.
Gospel is the body of Christ in the form of my brothers and sisters, loving because He first loved us.
Gospel is hope in the midst of despair, beauty in brokenness.
I don't know how to follow Jesus. I fail at that on a daily basis. I want to live out Gospel in the lives of those around me, though. I want to breathe hope into a sick and dying world, a world that needs so desperately the news that Jesus isn't done with us. That he's coming back to bring restoration and new life. I want to bring the love of Jesus to a world that needs it so desperately. I want Him to transform me that I might go and transform my world.
God, take my life; may I live to make known the Good News.
No comments:
Post a Comment