The following is a reflection the few times in my life where I have approached what it means to “pray without ceasing.” May I learn even now to pray like this on a daily basis. May God be my focus and my refuge. May His spirit and His wisdom guide my every action. May I learn to put His ways ahead of mine.
Your will be done, Father.
“Maybe I’m just being over dramatic,” I thought to myself. And yet, it was all I could do to maintain some level of alertness and presence in the social situation in which I found myself. You see, I couldn’t stop praying.
I prayed. I prayed like I hadn’t prayed in so long. It seemed as if every other breath was a prayer. ”God, have mercy.” ”God, heal our hearts.” ”God, may I see this as you see it.” ”God, be with him.” ”God, be with her.” ”God, forgive me for my anger, for the walls I put up. Forgive me for not speaking up, for not coming to his defense.” ”God, forgive me for acting out of anger rather than love, out of fear rather than boldness.” ”God, be with us, hold us together for Your name’s sake.” ”God, give me a portion of the humility that your Son had. May your name be lifted high.” ”God, You are good.” ”Daddy, You overcome me with your presence. Thank you for being here.”
And, you know, God was there. I felt him moving in that room. Tension dissolves into love as the Holy Spirit moves. I found reason to discard my jaded perceptions. I realized how much more there is in me to forgive than in those whom I judge. That realization haunts me even now. How easily does pride invade. How quickly does that which is holy and pure become polluted by self, God silenced by man.
God, forgive us.
Forgive me for not speaking up. Forgive me for wanting to speak up for all of the wrong reasons. Forgive me for ceasing to pray. Forgive me for taking up my burdens rather than laying them at your feet. Thank You that You are the healer, and that you work in spite of my sinful silence. You are all that is good in this world. May I realize this each day with more clarity.
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