all of the mountains

I used to think I was pretty difficult to read.  Pretty good at "faking it."  Apparently I have either lost this skill, or I no longer possess the desire to exercise it.  Ever since moving to the South, I have been consistently unhappy.  I know some of the factors that contribute to my unhappiness, but for the most part, it outwardly appears unwarranted.  I have a job I love and I have friendships I will treasure forever.  I'm growing in my faith in ways I never have before, and I am more sure of who I am than I have been in maybe forever.

But on nights like tonight, the stress of life got to me.  I wasn't so much upset as I was burdened.  Actually, in comparison to so many other days and nights I have had here in this state I love to dislike, this was a good one.

Tonight was assisted living center night.  This involves my friends and I going to hang out with some awesome elderly people for an hour or so on Wednesday nights.  We talk with them and play/sing music (mostly hymns).  In any case, I showed up fashionably late and went directly into the sitting room to begin playing the piano.  It's on nights like tonight that the idea of small talk leaves me entirely overwhelmed.  Music is my escape.

And so I began singing some worship songs from my binder of songs that I carry with me from Washington.  I immediately became overwhelmed with the sweet relief of the truth of who God is.  Sometimes I can get caught up in fear.  Sometimes I encounter situations in life that throw everything into chaos.  But God's love for me is unwavering.  In my darkest day, my darkest sin, His love is extravagant.  His forgiveness is complete.  He offers a way for me to follow.  He simply asks me to leave everything behind and go after him.  His yoke is easy, His burden is light.

We moved to singing hymns, and in contemplating the lyrics of so many of the hymns we sang, I was again thankful for the great mercy and love of the God we serve.  His mercies are new every morning.  Great is His faithfulness.  He loved me 'ere I knew him, and all my love is due him.

I have so many questions about God and about life and death and sin.  But this I know.  My God loves me.  He loves me in the little details of the mundane.  In the saddest and the happiest times, He loves me.  I know my Savior, and I know that His love moves mountains.

All of the mountains.

And I'm so thankful.