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Today is a new day.

I was reminded of this fact as I drove home from Jacksonville this morning accompanied by a beautiful sunrise.  The darkness has passed, if only for the next 11 or so hours, and it is day.  I smile with the hope of a new day.

I thought a little this morning about the ways that people deal with pain.  When I'm hurt, the way I see it, there are three different ways I could approach it:

1) Just be me.  This involves copious amounts of passive aggressiveness, making sure to let everyone know I'm hurting in ways that bring me attention.  And if not that, it means retreating into myself and trying to heal my heart on my own terms.  It means praying that God will fix things for me.  It involves loving those who love me and it involves a great deal of selfishness.

2) Set out to do things that will make me happy.  Live for myself in big, obvious ways.  Celebrate myself as a prime example of the best kind of human.  In all I do, whether kind or unkind, further myself.

3) Turn to God in all situations.  Love Him above all else, and trust Him above all else.  Find reasons to praise him no matter the day or the hour.  Give my life to Him minute by minute, always trusting that He knows best.  Death to myself.  Hard, painful, real death to my desires, hopes, and dreams.

I'm learning.  Slowly, but surely, I'm learning to follow God.  I'm learning to choose number three.  I'm learning what it means to trust, and how hard it truly is to do so.  I'm learning to put his ways above my own, or at least learning the extent of what that means, even if I don't implement it fully.  Always I will be learning, never in this life will the surrender be complete.  But every day it will be closer.

A couple months ago, in the midst of spiritual confusion and fear, I prayed that God would teach me what I must do to follow Him.  I prayed that He would lead me.  And He has answered my prayer in such a huge way, even if it totally sucks at times.

Today I will be thankful for that.  Forgive me, Father, for so quickly forgetting how much You love me.  May Your love for me saturate my life.  May it run over into all those forgotten places in my heart.  May you refine me by fire.  May I walk through the flames stronger because I walked through them in Your footsteps.

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