discernment can be so overwhelming.  questions as simple as "what is life really all about?" plague me with a consistency that is frightening.  as i try to distinguish between the absolutes and the variables, between the falsehoods I have assumed to be true and the truths I have assumed to be false, i am reminded again and again of how ridiculous the attempt is to claim certainty, how ridiculous it is to say "this will be your experience; this is what to expect."  this road i'm walking is anything but expected, even rather unwelcome.  it's filled with joy, but it's also filled with terrible fear and uncertainty.  what if i got it all wrong?  what if i will continue to get it all wrong?