following Christ

Tonight was such an interesting night.

1) I was pretty tired.  I don't know why, but I'm the sort of person who's tired all the time.  Maybe there's something wrong with me.

2) I went to church prepared for the first time in a while.  The last few weeks I've been just sort of showing up.

3) So many things converged to distract me from what God had laid on my heart this evening.

4) I had a waffle at the Waffle House and instantly woke up.  Funny how food can do that...

In spite of my wandering mind and heart of a cynic, I realized something.  Following God is only easy when there isn't anything standing in the way.  Right now it's hard for me to want to truly follow, because it would mean putting some other things about which I care so very much on the back burner.  So right now I'm following God distracted.  That knowledge made me sad tonight.  I want to want to follow.  And part of me does.  But I also want God to just give me those other things I want as well.

And it most certainly does not work like that.