on conversation

I hate small talk.  Always have.  I think the primary reason for that is that I find it to be a cheap imitation of the thing I value most in this life: real conversation.  Conversation, real conversation, is so important to me.  More than anything, I value talking.  I am not sure what all the love languages are, but talking is most definitely mine.  A good conversation can make my entire day.  A good conversation gives me hope, joy, and reminds me that someone values me enough to spend their time talking to me.

This isn't the case with everyone, though, which makes it hard.  I am pretty sure most people don't realize how much weight I put on the words that we exchange.  I will replay conversations, both good or bad, over and over again.  Most people show love in other ways.  It can be lonely sometimes when my way of showing love doesn't translate to others.

But know this: when I love you, I will cross the world and back to lay everything aside to talk to you.  I will give you my whole heart in one conversation.  It hurts the most of all when I realize later that you stole my heart and I left with not a single piece of yours.

Because here's the thing.  When I'm spending time talking to someone about real things of the heart, I feel alive.