the worst

If there's something I hate more than anything else, it is being psycho-analyzed.  In the right situations, I am fairly strong willed, and my training as a historian only makes any attempt to give me a cut and dry answer seem entirely futile to me.  Not only do I hate being psycho-analyzed, but I hate being told what I should and shouldn't find important in life.  I recognize that my perspective is undoubtedly limited and vastly flawed.  Often, though, I find advice from others to be rather self-seeking.  I hate being ambushed and told just how wrong my perspective is - just how much of a failure my current approach to life is.

I hate these things so much.

And yet, one of the reasons I probably hate these things so much is that I am all of those things.  I psycho-analyze (myself and others), I tell others what they should find important, I give self-seeking advice (especially in Risk). And I ambush people with all the reasons they are failures.  

It is so difficult to live humbly.  To approach each and every situation from a selfless place.  To love without reservation, to offer oneself to the world as an offering to God.  That's my calling, but it is so often a distant aspiration rather than a current reality.  I cloak anger in the guise of love.  I feign concern in order to get information.  Among sinners, I am the worst.