on crazy feminists and denial of the gospel

In the preface of Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, the writer says the following:

Pagan ideas underlie evangelical egalitarianism, based, as it is, on ideas borrowed from cultural feminism.  Egalitarianism must always lead to an eventual denial of the gospel.

EXCUSE ME?

In addition, this fount of wisdom says the following:

Blurring spousal roles can lead not only to marital failure but also to gender confusion in children.

I am so angry.  Angry that the person who wrote this essay felt the need to appeal to fear.  Angry that I have basically been accused of heading down a path of "eventual denial of the gospel."  Angry that I feel like I have to fight this battle.  Angry that I'm angry.  Angry that I'm so alone.

It appears my emotional unrest runs pretty deep.

At the heart of it, the way I view the Bible has changed.  I believe the Bible is God's inspired Word, but I believe it was written for us not to us.  I believe the Bible is incredibly useful and powerful, but I believe that people can take it and twist it for their own agendas.  I believe that the Bible tells us about God.  I believe the Bible is God's words, but I believe we must take care with these words.  Not all people are the same, not all cultures are the same.  I'm sorry, they're just not.  But in this spiritual journey I've been on, my faith in God has deepened.  My faith in the gospel has strengthened.  My love for Jesus runs deeper than ever before.  God can't be kept out.  In all our frailty, He is strong.  He is good.  His gospel prevails through all the injustice, all the misunderstanding.  My "liberal" ways have only drawn me to pursue God more passionately, to ask questions and to seek the answers.  I have learned to be bold, to step out of my comfort zone.  I have come into my own, and I am excited to see where God is leading me.

It's not easy though.  My peace is dampened by fear.  Fear of judgment, fear of taunting, fear of ostracism.  Fear that I'm wrong.  Fear that those closest to me don't understand the journey I've been on and that they won't accept this new me.  I'm choosing to be transparent here on the blog and secretly hoping no one reads it.  I'm longing for conversations about this but terrified of those very conversations.

I want this to all go away.  I want to retreat back into passivity, into a place where I didn't really care either way.  I want to take back my education, take back my passion for theology, forget all the progress I've made, and retreat to a place where life was simple.

But God is here.  And in the corners of my soul, I can hear Him calling.  Calling me to follow Him into the unknown.  I may be very wrong about so many things (I know I am), but who isn't?  I am trusting that my God's big enough to lead me every step of the way.

I submit to Him.