in all things give thanks

"In all things, give thanks," He says.

Not this, God, not this.  This weighs too much, hurts too deeply.  This leaves scars.

It seems so wrong to thank God for today.  Today was marred with my sin, plagued with my weakness, punctuated with my mistakes.  Today was defined by my pride, destroyed by my heartache.  Today leaves me spinning.

Today could not be God's will.  There's no way.  Today is sadness and loss.  Today is fear.  Today is selfish and conceited.  Today is headstrong and stubborn.  There's simply no way.  No way.

Somewhere amid the chaos and confusion, faintly heard through the whir of anger and adrenaline, I hear God moving.  His peace precedes him.  His presence surrounds him.

He is here.  He holds me through the sadness.  He sympathizes with my weakness.  He remembers the reason for every tear that falls.  He wipes them away.  And through the sadness, he calls me to himself.

I answer the call.

It is in that moment that the game changes, that I am reborn.