the sound of music

Anytime music plays, it stirs up powerful emotions in me.  I often don't know what to do with the depth of heart ache, joy, or longing that may come as a result of simply hearing a song.  This is compounded by the fact that after 9 pm I become a hermit and extremely introspective.  It is as if the pressures of the day leave me in a place where it's all I can do to maintain politeness.  

Tonight my friends and I went to the beach.

It was so beautiful.  So. freaking. beautiful.  The moon was out, and you could see almost as if it was day.  The waves were so strong.  That's what I love most about the ocean, I think - the power of the water.  It is so vast, so beautiful, and so powerful.  It reminds me of God every time I see it.

Compounding my post-9 pm self with my I-just-listened-to-music-for-45-minutes-in-the-car self with my I'm-outside-on-a-beautiful-beach self left me in a weird mood to say the least.

I hung out with the group for a while, and then I headed away for a bit to just sit and look at the stars.  That was really what I came to do anyway.  See the stars. I miss being able to go outside and have stars and peace and quiet and just wild beauty at my disposal.  (for that one reason, and that reason only, I miss the farm)  

So I withdrew, spread out my beach towel, and laid in the light of the moon.  

And I started singing.  Old songs from growing up in a church where the hymn book reigned and "Shine Jesus Shine" was a "praise song."  I sang "Majesty" and "I Love You, Lord," and "Sanctuary."  I sang "Create in me a Clean Heart."  I just laid there and looked up at the moon as the surf crashed into the sand, over and over again. And I felt peace restored.  Life found its rhythm again.  In that moment, all was well.  

Sometimes I forget the power of my upbringing.  I forget the blessing of being a farm girl, and I forget the blessing of growing up in a church a bit "behind the times."  I get caught up in my new urban life, and I forget the power of a simpler life populated with corn stalks and baby lambs.  I forget the faith of my youth in favor of a always changing academic faith that allows me to leave my relationship with God on the back burner.

But tonight, in the emotion of entirely arbitrary songs accompanied by chords that never fail to take my breath away just by their sheer power, in the thundering silence of the ocean, in the joyful sound of laughter, in the radiant light of the moon on a sandy beach, I remembered who I am.

Praise to the Lord, the Almighty, the King of Creation.