just one example of the unraveling of Marilee's nerdy love of school

I feel like my sense of control is rapidly spiraling out of control.

I have so. much. grading. to do in the next week and two days.  So. Much. Grading.  SO. MUCH. GRADING.  SO! MUCH! GRADING!  Okay, I'll stop that.  But seriously.  It's gotten to the point where I'm sleep deprived (partly my fault, I couldn't resist staying up super late to watch the latest episode of the Biggest Loser last night which makes me officially lame and irresponsible) and stressed, and where instead of doing the grading, I just don't.  I'm in full-blown procrastination mode, figuring that one way or the other it'll work itself out in the end (most likely consisting of a grading marathon the night before the deadline where Marilee grades for twelves hours straight).  I've never really been a procrastinator before, so it confuses me that I'm dealing with stress/too much to do by just....not doing it.

Like...I decided tonight to just go to bed. (I also decided to stop reading a book that we are supposed to read for class next week - it's a primary source so I'm just going to rely on the first 60 pages that I skimmed for pertinent evidence, but that's another story)  Of course, go to bed doesn't mean go to bed.  Go to bed means lay in my bed and write this blog entry followed by an episode of "How I Met Your Mother."  I've discovered that that show is just interesting enough to keep my interest in a long term sense (there are a ton of episodes/seasons and I can find them all relatively easy online) and just boring enough to make me sleepy (reality tv makes me really excited/happy and I never get tired while watching it - yet another example of Marilee's epic lame-ness).    Much of the time I only make it through part of an episode before going to sleep (and each episode is only 20 minutes long).

Tomorrow I will pay for my irresponsibility and social life tonight.  Tomorrow is my "thesis day" but it's going to turn into a "thesis day until 5:00 pm" after which it will be church small groups and then grade like a maniac/do homework til 4 am. 

I'm looking forward to it.

Not.