phi alpha theta

Life has resumed a certain emotional normalcy. That's the nice thing about being a girl - even when I'm super upset about life in general, in the back of my mind I usually am able to remind myself that this, too, shall pass. I realized today that it's really going to be ok. And for the first time I think I might truly be okay with the idea of letting what will happen happen. I'll try my best to get a job, but if I don't, that's okay too. I'll have three months of solitude and study time, and it will be good. After all, I'm saving over $200 a month starting in September, so I'll make back the money I will lose this summer through not having a job. I'll make awesome progress on my research for my thesis, and maybe even have time to read other stuff. I'll spend lots of time going on long walks, having good conversations, and maybe making some friends. :) I still want a job though. Haha.

Tomorrow I leave for Seattle for two days. The history department is headed to a student conference. I'm presenting a paper about Canadian Protestantism and their tendency to create an "other." I finished revising it today. I was pretty much dreading presenting it - I basically signed up the paper not really liking it, and got really embarrassed that I had signed up at all, and lost all my self confidence and started freaking out... and today I realized that this, too, is something I need to not worry about. If it's bad, it's bad. But it probably won't be the worst paper there. There's always that. :)

Not gonna lie, I'm not really looking forward to being gone for two days. I have a lot of homework already (yeah, it's early in the quarter, but I've found the end of the quarter is usually less work than the beginning) and I'm nervous about what having two days away is going to do to my ability to succeed. I'm planning on sitting in the hotel room working on homework as much as possible - even if it turns me into a huge loser that everyone laughs at.

I have a German test on Monday, a research paper biblio and outline due Tuesday, as well as 60 pages of a rather dense book, two books due for Thursday, one of which I have to write a five page book review on and one of which I have to lead discussion for. Suffice it to say...I may lose my mind before next Thursday evening. :)