"go into all the world and preach the gospel"

In this post I'm going to stay away from quoting Scripture...at least I'm not going to open my Bible and start quoting things. If something comes to my mind from memory, I may reference it (as I did in the title), but for the most part, I intend this to be a discussion of cultural beliefs, practices, and interpretations of the Bible rather than an actual Biblical analysis of the topic. Of course, I think a study of the Bible on this topic is much needed, and I intend to keep reading the Bible looking for answers to my question, but for this post, I want to discuss evangelical Christianity as a cultural force. So forgive me for my lack of specific Biblical support for my ideas.

Here's what I've been wondering about:

Before Jesus returned to heaven, he told his disciples to go into all the world and preach the gospel. He told them (and most believe all Christians) to baptize people and teach them to do all he commanded. This passage (at the end of Matthew if you're wondering) seems to be a core tenet of Christianity today. It's kind of our manifesto, our driving force. (at least idealistically)

I worked at a Christian summer camp for three years. There I was taught to "preach the Gospel." Romans road to salvation all the way. We received groups of campers every week and were to introduce them to Christ in explicit terms. I learned to share Christ with each camper I got, and I even led one through the sinner's prayer. Many rededicated their lives to Christ under my watch.

One of the hardest things about not working at camp after that was how much I missed the Christian "bubble." I missed my job description being to share Christ, because then it was easy. I was paid to share Christ. I was expected to do so. If I ever wanted to be a missionary, it was because I thought it'd be really cool to work with other Christians and have my job description be evangelism.

I went to a Christian college. Although I was stretched there, I didn't really ever have to "witness" to anyone, because most who went to school there were either saved or had been exposed to Christianity in very explicit terms already. If they weren't following God, it was mainly because they had chosen not to.

I think it's when I'm in completely secular environments when it gets more tricky. What exactly am I called to? What does going into all the world and preaching the gospel look like for me?

There seem to be two opposing camps, both of which have the ultimate goal of converting people to Christianity:
1) the make friends route. This basically states that I have to get to know someone before I can share Christ with them. It's not "preachy" at all. In fact, it's pretty passive. I sit around and wait for them to ask questions. I try to live my walk with Christ, but don't preach, unless asked.
2) the street corner route. This is a very overt approach to evangelism. Although not always taking place on a street corner, it does involve overt evangelism. It means me initiating conversations about God. It probably involves me telling people they're wrong.

Here's the problem. I tend to think in black and white terms much of the time, and I don't really like either of these approaches. The make friends route, in my experience, seems to get me nowhere. My friends don't ask, because they are not interested. So I don't tell. Sure, I live my life, and it's fairly obvious I'm a Christian. However, not much more than that happens. The street corner route tends to come off wrong most of the time. As much as I want to admire people who have the guts to walk up to people and lay it all out there for a complete stranger, I've also heard plenty of non-Christians be either offended, annoyed, or amused by such tactics.

Last fall I wrote a paper on Canadian Protestantism's creation of an "other." Basically what this entailed was me being entirely cynical in my approach to Canadian Protestantism, pointing out a bunch of different ways in which Canadian Protestants identified other groups as "others" and in one way or another ostracized them. These groups include (but are not limited to) young people (rebellious as always), Jews, Catholics, First Nations (the Canadian equivalent of Native Americans), the working class, blacks, etc etc.

Here's my quandary. I want to be super offended that these Christians ostracized these other people (and in many cases my offendedness would be completely on base in all respects). At the same time, I've been taught my whole life to "other" other people. Those bad Catholics, those people who clearly aren't working hard enough and so it's their fault they're poor, those Democrats, etc. And even more generally, and perhaps more applicably in the case of this particular blog topic, those non-Christians. My entire life I've thought of anyone who doesn't think and believe like me as an enemy. Maybe not an enemy in the sense that I need to hate them or go kill them. But definitely an adversary. Something to be defeated. And I understand where this comes from. Christianity (and in this case Protestant Christianity or even Evangelical Free Church Christianity) tends to make claims to absolute truth. I believe that Jesus was fully man and fully God, and that He came to earth, died for sins, rose again, conquering sin and death. I believe that my only hope for salvation rests in Him. I believe this isn't my home. I believe all those things as my absolutes. So it would logically follow that I need to do whatever possible to bring people into the kingdom.

HOWEVER...what if we're doing this the wrong way? What if Democrats aren't always evil? What if capitalism and democracy are not absolutes? And, more specifically, what if our methods of evangelism do not resonate with this culture? What if "onward Christian soldier" is not the correct way to approach evangelism? What if life isn't a battle field? What if it's not about slaying the enemy, not about "winning?" What does it mean for me to be a Christian who believes in the absolute truth of my belief system in a world that rejects absolutes? What does it mean to love? When do I speak, and when do I remain silent?

I love Jesus more than life, and I want nothing less than for everyone I know to love Him as well. I want my friends to know the hope I have...I want that more than anything. And yet, I remain silent. It's a constant battle for me...I flip flop between feeling really guilty, feeling really powerless, and feeling like I'm doing alright.

Jesus said I'd be hated because of Him. Am I hated? If not, should I be? Jesus told me to follow Him. What does that mean? Does that mean I adopt his style of preaching, his lifestyle, and follow him down the road of being hated?

At the end of the day, I think it does. I mean...obviously, I need to be willing to be hated in a way that does not involve me hating, that does not involve confrontation or a me vs. them mentality. This is no doubt the single hardest thing for me to do. Not only because I'm human and imperfect, but because I'm also perhaps the biggest people-pleaser to ever walk the earth. I hate hurting people, I hate disagreeing with them. I like it when everyone can agree. I'm timid, passive, and I am not bold. I'd much rather write this blog post than actually talk to someone about Christ. God forgive me for this. God forgive me for failing to do and say and be all that God wants.

God, take me. Take all of me. May I be broken and spilled out every day, may I follow You in all the ways You would have me do so. May I be willing to walk the hard road - not because life is a battlefield and the lost the enemy, but because I can do no less than share the hope and peace You offer me with the world. May I love in Your name, may I live in Your peace and love, may I give my all to the furtherance of Your kingdom.