my biggest quandary

There are lots of things about God that I don't understand. Lots of theological positions yet to be decided, many areas where I am perplexed to the point of being troubled. I must say, though, that if I had to name one thing that bothers me the most, it would be the issue of the absolute. By this I do not mean to say that I do not believe that there is a right and wrong. I'm not trying to go all post-modern on you. I do mean to say, however, that I find it really hard to deal with the fact that I am not always able to know who is right and who is wrong. I find myself wanting things to be simple and clear-cut, and they simply are not that way.

For instance, a friend tells me a story about some people who made her life hard. I mentally vilify them. They made the wrong decision - in my mind, at least. I then see a glimpse of life from their perspective, and see the ways that God used that situation in their life. Immediate confusion ensues.

Or, a friend once told me something that affected me directly, claiming to have heard from God. I didn't at all agree about the content of this "revelation." It messed me up - it happened several years ago and it still bothers me.

I wish things were a simple matter of an equation. Plug in the variables, get the result (maybe I should have been a math major after all). I wish that I could know. And of course I can't. But it drives me nuts that things are not as black and white as I want them to be. God is black and white, but humanity most certainly is not.