they walked away: reflections on what Church means in a broken world

[This is my life.   Not in any specific, accusatory sort of way, but in a general, truth-for-me sort of way.  This is my life, as honestly as I can put it.  No, I don't know how I feel about my life.  I have not come to grips wholly with my questions.  But I'm coming to the conclusion that healing may very well be found in honesty.  So here it is, as true as is possible.]

They walked away.
They walked away because there was no room for their confusion in your monopoly on truth.
They walked away because you blindly accept what they cannot.
They walked away because in their heart of hearts to follow Jesus means to leave.
They walked away because they felt entirely alone in a crowd, misunderstood and marginalized.
They walked away to preserve their intellectual honesty.

They stayed.
They stayed because, despite all of the reservations, this is Christ's body.
They stayed because they love you and need you.
They stayed because they hope and pray that some day your eyes will be opened.
They stayed because He said it wouldn't be easy.
They stayed because they feel compelled to be a light for the doubters and the skeptics - a beacon on the darkest of nights.

They walked away.
They stayed.

They stayed because they are too afraid to walk away.
They walked away because they are too afraid to stay.

During your altar calls, in the midst of your "do you know Jesus?"s, all they can think is "I believe, help my unbelief."  All they can think is "Do I truly know what it is to follow?"  All they can think is, "Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening."
During your political rants, all they can think is "God have mercy on her, the broken woman who saw no alternative.  God have mercy on him, the boy who loves another boy and lost his church as a result.  God have mercy on her, the woman with no hope but welfare."
During your sermon's five points, during your carefully structured bible study, all they can think is "Am I the only one who finds the Bible so much more wild and beautiful than all of this categorization?"  All they can think is, "God have mercy, reveal to me who You are."
During your angry-at-the-heretics times they look awkwardly at the floor, knowing you're talking about them.  During your self-righteous times, they pray "God have mercy on me, a sinner."

And through it all, they stay.  They stay because through you they see Christ.  In your brokenness He shines through.

He is bright.
He is beautiful.
He holds us together.
He makes us one.