ends and beginnings

Today was Sunday - my weekend. It was a very good day. I had the privilege of playing piano for the morning worship service at my church and then my family went to my aunt's house and the lake to celebrate Father's Day. It was just a fun time, on a lot of levels. I got home wishing desperately that the "weekend" wasn't over already, but that's a good thing I think.

I've been thinking a lot today. This summer is in so many ways an "ending" for me. My last few months at home before leaving it all behind for a new life in Washington. I won't ever get these moments back, this life back. It is passing, momentary, fleeting. Three months from now my life will be entirely different. And although I am excited about the future, today I took a moment while riding across the lake in my family's boat, to reflect on all of the things I will miss. The people I will miss. My family will be staying here, in this life, and I will be leaving them for something altogether different. Life won't stop here, but I will no longer be here. That's sad.

It was hard for me living at home the first few months after graduation. I missed my friends, I missed my independence, I missed school. And now I find myself adjusted fully to this life, and wondering how I will do without it.

I have also been considering new beginnings today, though. The chance to start over in a new place is exciting. Scary, yes. Incredibly scary. But exciting. I have no intentions of ending college friendships, but I will have the opportunity to start anew in Washington. No one will know me...know anything about me. There won't even be rumors about me there. I will be a strange face in a strange place. And I'm okay with that. I need the new beginning, I think. I need it desperately.

And so I swallow the many fears that are growing as my departure date nears. I remind myself Who is in control, Who will be with me wherever I go. I remember that He holds my life in His hands, and will never let me go.