so much to say!

Where to start? I guess I could start in a way that will best fit with the name of this blog (mundane made beautiful), and update you on my life.

Saturday night I spent in Orange City! It was so wonderful (my stays in Orange City always are). I'm getting very addicted to visiting Orange City and am getting majorly depressed (not entirely joking on this one) that in two weeks it'll be over. First a few of us went on a random jaunt around campus taking pictures...my first pictures taken at NW since graduating. That was a great time. We also ate at Taco Johns. Eventually we noticed that a storm was coming, so a few of us decided to change clothes and run around in the rain. The rain was FREEZING and it was hailing a little, but it was entirely worth it and a GREAT memory. We actually played a great game of "sneak across campus without pedestrians seeing us" and laughed a TON...and then got super cold because we were entirely soaked through with hail and rain. Later a bunch of us went to the Hatchery. I had a strawberry daquiri (sp?) (virgin, for those of you who just judged me :P) and it was beyond delicious. We played Apples to Apples, and laughed a lot.

I consider my Northwestern friends my second family...I love them all so much...and I don't know what I will do when they all leave in under two weeks. Probably cry. A lot. I didn't realize just how much this would hurt...I didn't realize how much I would have come to care about a group of friends...I was not prepared for this, at all. It's like freshman year when Rachel left school, only magnified by about 10.

Anyway, enough with the sob fest.

I'm really going to be so relieved to be done with this phase of life (the Beresford part of the equation.) I miss studying so much...the time I spend here at home studying German or reading is what keeps me sane. I like my jobs I guess...but only as a way to pass the time and make some money doing it. I love history and language and feel an unexpectedly intense NEED to be a student again. The closer I get the more emotional I get about it. I am SO EXCITED.

On an entirely different note, I have been thinking a lot this weekend about my relationship with Jesus Christ.

This morning in church I sang "Revelation Song." I didn't decide until last night that I would sing that song instead of "It Is Well." This morning as I prepared, though, I was really struck by my NEED to sing that song, and for the personal meaning that it held for me. It's really hard to explain, but I'm going to try anyway.

The last few years have been intense. Good, bad, everything. The way I used to think was intensely challenged in college, and I'm still trying to figure out exactly what I believe. (I no longer consider myself a Republican, for one. I just can't do it... No, I'm not Democrat, don't worry, Mom. haha... I'm just...completely confused I guess. Sick and tired of politics and sick and tired of the idea that Christianity and American culture are intrinsically connected. But that's besides the point.) I guess I became somewhat of a skeptic. Everything was questioned. A closely related part of that struggle is something that I'm still working through, actually. I wondered how emotion related to the Christian walk. You know the churches that build themselves around feelings...or at least it could be portrayed that way. Everything is emotionally charged (the jury's still out on whether this is purposeful or simply a bi-product of a living, vibrant church inhabited by the Spirit). A friend that I used to have is completely against emotion. Faith for him is entirely intellectually and practically based. (more on intellectual/practical/emotion later) Emotion is suspect because *obviously* a church where the worship service is centered around emotion is faking it. Soo...I have been wrestling with the concept of emotion. Closely related is the question of spiritual gifts/miracles. After all, speaking in tongues and prophecy are usually found in the more emotionally charged churches. Anyway...I was thinking about that a lot this morning...and I decided to study a little on emotion/miraculous gifts this morning. Thoughts thus far:
Acts 2 makes specific reference to speaking in tongues as well as a "sense of awe" being upon the people involved. Seems to have been quite emotional. in addition, joel is quoted to show that signs and wonders, dreams and prophecies are all signs of the last day.
1 Corinthians 12:4-11 talks about varieties of gifts and ministries and effects. Each of us have different "gifts" (tongues and prophecies included). Everyone has a gift. Not all are miraculous, but some are.
1 Corinthians 14:1 - we are to desire prophecy
So, unless God turned off access to the Holy Spirit after 100 ad, I think it's pretty safe to say that it is absolutely ridiculous to say that prophecy and speaking in tongues are not legit. now, of course, there are probably fakers. But how dare we say that the charismatic church is wrong just because we don't understand it?

I have come to the conclusion that I am called to learn to balance three aspects of my life and faith. These three include the emotional aspects of my faith, the intellectual aspects of my faith, and the practical aspects of my faith.

I was also thinking about the 24 elders around the throne of God today. The fact that there are creatures that spend all of their time worshiping God is truly amazing and awe-inspiring. I wish I could live like that. Both considerations of sin and practical considerations keep me from this. But how I wish I could live like that. 24/7 worship of God in word, thought, and deed. Wow, that would be sooo good. :)