my cup overflows

I've always been a frightfully open person.  I am that girl who openly announces to everyone what I make per hour at my current job (I should probably not do that as much) and I have tended in the past to blog somewhat unflinchingly about things close to my heart.

And now I don't anymore.  You see, there's a boy.  A wonderful man who has consumed much of my thoughts over the past two and a half months.  Our story is ours alone, and it's not one I want to play out in this space, largely because my blog was so often where I grew, processed things, and changed.  For once in my life, I want this part of my life to proceed in its natural surroundings, among our friends and in the reality of the day to day mundane.  And it's not only my story to tell, it's his, too.

And yet, I miss this blog a great deal.  I miss living my life partially here, and I miss letting this blog influence my thoughts.  I miss the opportunity to write things out and process my emotions.

In many ways, though, there are no words for the season of life in which I walk at the present time.  I walk through territory that is, for me, uncharted.  It's been scary, it's been wonderful, it's been something for which I have had to fight and something entirely natural and mundane all at the same time.

And I've learned a few things in the process.  About him, about me, about us, about God, about life.

I've learned that God's will is impossible to discern unless I am willing to follow and obey and seek God first in the day to day of life.  I've learned to lay my worries and concerns down and live in the moment, because this moment is beautiful.  I've learned that to care about another is something exhilarating and entirely mundane, something far removed from Hollywood and yet so much more real and beautiful.  I've learned that a lot of my disgruntled-ness about relationships or about marriage or about sexism or about gender roles or about what-have-you was completely ridiculous.  I've learned a bit of grace toward those in the dating and/or married "clubs" as my eyes have been opened to a side of life I had previously not experienced.  I've learned that the "good guys" are always the ones worth pursuing and that playing hard to get is a joke.

And I'm thankful.  I'm thankful for the godly man God has placed in my life.  My cup overflows.

So if I'm silent here, it's because words fall short at present.  I'll probably be back some day.

Until then.