I grew up thinking like an Arminian, only to be told in high school Bible instruction class that I should be a Calvinist.  I am coming to understand, though, that my "adopted" Calvinism does not always match up with the Calvinism described by those who aren't Calvinist.

The way I was taught Calvinism is this:
God chooses those he will save.  Those he will save choose him.  100%  responsibility on both sides.  This results in a paradox where I am able to adopt the mindset of an Arminian (which I had my entire life growing up).

Of course, looking at the above "100% responsibility" theory from the outside can expose it to some logical inconsistencies.  And, when being taught Calvinism, I distinctly remember those of us in the class saying things like "that makes no sense!"  And, beauty of all beauties, the instructor pulled out the "We can't understand God" card (somewhat like our explanation of the Trinity) to explain why it wouldn't make sense that both parties have 100% responsibility in the work of salvation.

It seems to me that the question is quite simple.  Either God picks out a select group of people to save and the rest He damns, or He doesn't.  My "free will" or whatever is entirely beside the point if I am only choosing God because He chose me.  If it's free will, it's free will within an incredibly bounded field.  Sorta puppet-esque.

Of course, I'm human, and God is God.  So I am by no means throwing Calvinism out entirely.  I don't know what I believe anymore.  I don't know that I ever want to join a camp.  I do know that God has saved and is saving me from my sin.  That I have a responsibility to love and serve in His name.  To let my life speak of His Gospel in ways both vocal and not.

And, at least for now, that's all that matters to me.