My life is such a mix of content and restless; happy and lonely, satisfied and longing. Sometimes it's so much of both that I don't even know how to begin to describe how I'm doing.

Right now I sit on the third floor of Haggard Hall at 5:21 am watching the dawn descend on the city. The very fact that I'm on a college campus at 5 in the morning holds so many mixed emotions for me.

This is the path I chose. I came here to study, and I knew I'd only be here for two short years. And yet it's hard. I'm an introvert, and much of the time I don't mind my solitary existence. But all too often I am reminded of how very alone I am. It bothers me. Partly because I don't know if there's anything I could do (short of fundamentally changing who I am) to change this. Partly because on another level I chose this solitary path.

Singlehood has chosen me, and I have chosen it. It appears we're meant for each other at least for the forseeable future. While I'm more at peace with this fact than I have ever been, that does not mean that I'm entirely at peace with it. Basically, it's just really hard to be so alone all the time. It's hard to go from college, where I was surrounded by my best friends, to home, where I was surrounded by my family, to here, where I'm entirely alone.

Thanks for listening. :)