fears

So yesterday and today the weight of the future began to hit me. I'm not exactly nervous, and I'm very excited to get out there.... but I also started to realize just what I am giving up to pursue this. Not only am I moving thousands of miles from home, family, and friends, but I am also giving up any sort of familiarity, besides my stuff. I will be in an entirely foreign environment - city, people, culture...everything. That is scary to me. To know that I will not belong there, at least not at first is scary. Here, I belong. I know the region, I know many of its people, and I know the culture. There, I will have none of that.

I'm also relatively afraid of being alone. I'm concerned that I will be unable to make friends. Camp and college were easy - I was put in a situation where I was able to easily make friends. This will be completely different - I will be living off campus by myself. It will be imperative that I "put myself out there." The easy route (hiding in my apartment) will not be acceptable.

Despite this, I am excited that there are only two days left now. It's crazy to think about, and I am having a really hard time comprehending that in just a week's time I not be here anymore...that this season of my life will be entirely in the past.